Numbness in my Soul

After a lot of Introspection and really trying hard to push back the hatred and anger which has reared itself in me after the Mumbai attacks, today, I want to bounce back.
My resilience is cracking.I don't want to blame anyone.We are all collective partners in this crime which has happened in Mumbai.

As an Indian living outside the home shores, all I was capable of, was to see the relay on the live stream of IBN-Live and as tears rolled down my eyes, I realised that I was capable of hatred too and after that came the anger.

Anger at the octagenarian Idiot who had the audacity to come out and underplay the heroics of a martyred son!
All because he was not allowed to conduct a PR exercise which was to earn him brownie points among the voters back home in Kerala, what with the General Elections coming up soon.

I am appalled that we are not even able to report even the correct name of the terrorist captured!!
Every time I check out the news on various websites, we see a different name for this guy !
Is this the 'Right to Information' act all about?
How do you think Pakistan will own up to these terrorists when we ourself are not sure of the name of the person we have in our custody!

Talking of Pakistan, they already have a history of disowning their own soldiers, whether on the battlefield or on the terrorist grounds ! Nothing could be worse that what is the current state of Pakistan.They are in an economic turmoil and dependent on every other country to feed their people.

Today there is a peace march in India and how I wish I was there too,
to show my solidarity to my countrymen.
I can feel the restlessness in our young blood as I feel the same too.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

On a second thought, Our President is out touring the world when her own home is on fire.It is almost as-if she is never going to get a second chance to do a foreign trip that she could cancel this.

What more can we expect from such a useless political brass.
How can we expect anything credible from our political representatives when they can go down to the levels of involving corruption in the dead soldier's coffin boxes !!!!
A horrifying thought that they even made the efforts of thinking so low!
A Chief-Minister whose body language screams 'I don't care a damn'. Such callous attitudes and casual demeanour!
A Chief-Minister who when denied Media glory spurns a martyr's father!
A Home-Minister who mouths insensitive phrases only to highlight the triviality of the attack!
Even the dead would have turned in their grave.
But again, aren't we to blame for getting these in-effectual people in those highest echelons of power where they contribute to render the common man powerless?

Why do we end up giving 100% voter turnout when we know that there aren't any useful candidates in the fray?

When it does not help to be defensive, one has to become offensive.

I don't really know what to write.I am at a loss of words today.
Rendered with a numb soul which is incapable of any thought or action.
I mourn for you my dear bereaved country.
May god give us the strength to cope with this hour of grief.
So many questions,so much restlessness and so much grief.